[ John's casually looking around, and at being spoken to, he tosses up his head and skedaddles over to this other guy with a gust of air like woooosh! ]

Uh. [ How to make everything that's about to come out of his mouth plausible... ] This is going to sound kinda weird, but you wouldn't happen to have gotten some [ SQUEAKY VOICE ] chain letter or something, about how you'll die if you don't re-send it to a bunch of people at random... right?